Pope Benedict XVI delivers his Urbi et Orbi message and blessing from the central balcony of St Peter’s Basilica, Vatican City, Christmas 2009

GOD’s BIG FAT VAT TAX “” The Vatican is to tax “˜Pope’ “” the word “˜Pope’ to be taxed.

Pope Alice expresses dismay at Vatican plans to establish copyright protection on the use of the word Pope and associated papal symbols. The Holy See intends to hold exclusive right for their use according to the Catholic News Agency.

The news came as a surprise to Pope Alice as Papa Benny (Benedict XVI) had previously condemned those who defend their copyright. The Roman Pontiff (Papa Benny) criticized the struggle for copyright as “a phenomenon, which contradicted the notion of mutual help and Christian love to other people”.

Pope Alice, speaking in A Flat Major, reminded Papa Benny of Matthew 22:21, “Render unto Caesar the things which are Caesar’s, and unto God the things that are God’s.” Pope Alice, an extraterrestrial spiritual leader claiming to be thousands of years old, also reminds us, that whilst she has used the title of Pope for millennia prior to the Roman Catholic Church, she has been happy to share the title with others. Even Papa Benny spoke out in his Christmas homily against selfishness.

“Is nothing sacred?” Alice asks. “Is EVERYTHING business and scarcity now?”. “Combibo is Alicia,” Papa Benny reportedly replied. “We have the numbers and the influence and we are a corporation after all. Copyright is our just due. You have the Pope Alice Xorporation (PAX). This is our response. VATI (Vatican Inc) and POOPP (Papal Observers Overseeing Problem Populations) are to be household-famous trademarks.”

As the Vatican’s spiritual power wanes it becomes more and more obsessed with temporal power, marketable products and shareholder returns. After all the Roman Empire never went away it became the Roman Catholic Church and Papa Benny is the current Caesar. He is a red caped, celebrity-superstar bringing Catholic gilt to the masses.

“What about Santa?” intoned Pope Alice. Papa Benny has been famous in recent years for re-introducing the medieval papal Santa hat (camauro), He wasn’t wearing it this Christmas, although he did have on the red and white Santa cape (mozzetta) for the Urbi et Orbi Christmas message from Vatican City. “What if Santa is the next to go copyright crazy?” Says Pope Alice. “Perhaps the Vatican can strike a deal with Santa’s Coca Cola management, or maybe already has, or is it time for Santa’s claws to come out and for copyright to get really ugly. What will happen to all those Santa-like pope portraits. Would they have to be over-painted?”

Pope Alice lamented, “Copyright is ALWAYS about money. And if Peter’s Purse is emptying, it’s time for a big Vatican rethink rather than to descend into the squalor of corporate squabbling. The kiddie cases and sex scandals of recent years have had an impact on church banking and reputation. Think laterally; imagine Vatican City as a theme park, casino or embassy” Pope Alice trilled. “With the price of gold rocketing the Vatican could keep idle fingers busy and simultaneously feed all the poor “” forever and ever. Amen/Awomen. “

“Forever, now there’s a BIG word? It’s time to pose the tricky question, “What future is there for the Roman Catholic Empire?” According to the predictions of St Malachy (a kind of sainted Nostradamus) it’s job is done and Papa Benny (“Gloria Olivae”) is the second last pope. The next pope, Peter the Roman, will be the final pope in the line of St Peter. As the Vatican prepares for the ultimate fall of its worldly stocks and shares and heaps VATI and POOPP on all its products its spiritual authority is losing independence from temporal authority. Is it a case of render unto Caesar and don’t let God get in the way of a profit?”

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For further information please contact Eden Bates 0425 235 556 (Australia) – Pope Alice still calls Australia Rome..