Pope Alice invites Pope Benedict XVI to a sensual feast in Her Garden of Earthly Delights during his visit to Sydney.

Pope to Pope over, “I’m cumming too!” says Alice.

A spokesperson for Her Divine Holiness Pope Alice said today she was most concerned about the tired anxious look in Benny’s eyes. “These are the eyes of a deprived soul,” she observed. “Poor Benny has that tormented look stemming from years of guilt-ridden masturbation and self-mortification investing him with a stooped back, livid eyes and a mincey gait.”

“It must be exhausting, all that Mel Gibson-style obsession with wounds and crosses and attempting to straddle sadism, masochism and morbidity all at once. We beg you Benny think of nice things Love. Chill out. Contemplate the good news gospel messages like “Love one another.”

“The German Shepherd could be vulnerable and edgy.” Pope Alice added, “especially being around so many virile, nubile, adoring youths whilst he’s here. The sleepover under the stars at Randwick is a worry. He may spread his virus of sexual frustration to others. “

“Our invitation is, savour the joys of life and to live it up a bit. Open your mind and I’ll open my legs. Forget the Vigil Under the Stars come join life in the Big Kiss-In at Taylor Square, Saturday afternoon 3pm. Forget the preaching, witch hunting and homo-hating. It’s time to lay back Ben. Put your Prada shod feet and anything else up. Cum, relax and take a load off in Pope Alice’s Garden of Freedom and Delights!”

“Ben the two of us need look no more.”

ps For those who wish to celebrate the Pope of Rome’s visit to Oz by DeBaptising themselves, Pope Alice will be available to congratulate and assist you at various locations around Sydney, including Taylor Square on Saturday and Sunday afternoons at 3pm.